Love is an open door heart [008].
Difficult Conversations About Vulnerable Topics
The older I get, the stranger my tastes in food. What I really create is that depth of flavour, the layered nuances, the complex notes.
Sugar and spice are nice, but there’s something different and more satisfying about balsamic vinegar, or horseradish with bite, or even a perilla or shiso leaf. It’s the nuance, or the clarity
I have the same taste in conversations. Facile small talk and surface-level chat are boring now; I want the deep stuff, the difficult conversations.
I don’t know; I find myself asking questions like:
- Why are you on a dating app?
- What are you really look for?
- Tell me about your ex.
The answers to difficult questions are way more revealing than “what are you watching on Netflix”.
But to get people to open up can be a difficult thing, so what should we do?
Showing Vulnerability First
A few of us went for coffee, but I was ambushed with unexpected deep questions:
- What did your ex teach you about secure attachment?
- What work did you do on yourself?
- Why do you really want a relationship?
That last is a great question I don’t have a good answer to.
But, by being open and willing to talk about it, I got a different perspective on my problems and thoughts. I got their views, and their difficult questions.
I suppose the way to get people’s guard down is to lower your guard first.
Weekly Stat Block (Dec 2021)
⚫ LUCK – Luck
- People, not things. I keep repeating this mantra to myself and today I decided to take a chance and have lunch, then coffee with some people after class. It paid off, I got more people interaction, and opened up.
- I also offered my arm nonchalantly and took my date’s hand nonchalantly during a date. She seemed to enjoy it, as did I.
Maybe I don’t need to hem and haw and make a deal about breaking the touch barrier – I can just offer first, and make my own luck.
It was nice to hold someone’s hand again, and be held.