To warm up for writing the State of the Darren 2025, I thought I’d reflect on some potential themes for 2025 and recap some of my previous themes.
What (I think) I want from 2025
I’ve observed that this year, my attention is very distributed amongst too many things. I am not just distractible, but I tend to crave starting something new over focusing on one thing.
At work, I am split between Analytics and AI projects. At fitness, I am split between strength and running — not a bad thing — but I entertain fantasies of pickleball and yoga and rock climbing — again, not a bad thing, but instead of going deep into one practice I consider many.
My reading habits, aside from falling apart, have also been distracted. I think I finished one (self-help nonfiction) book this year, even though I started reading many and keep looking for new ones. And same with notebooks, I juggle too many; notes are strewn between many.
In cleaning my stuff lately I’ve also noticed a tendency to collect spares and “just in case”. I have plenty of empty, unused notebooks — and I’m tempted to buy new ones! — but sometimes they sit around gathering dust and aren’t used up.
Thus, appropriately enough, the first candidate theme:
“One” | “The Rule of One” | “Focus”
- One thing at a time. One notebook, one practice, one focus at a time until I nail it well. One place for all my thoughts, one practice until it becomes habit, one routine to make planning pointless.
- Really embrace the capsule wardrobe idea — one set (and one spare) for work-formal / smart-casual / workout / date night, and save time wondering whether to shop or not. No more coveting or window shopping or wondering about — perhaps I should create a notebook to write down the desires for the future — but less time dithering about shopping means a simpler life.
One bag for each purpose (work bag / light bag / carrier bag, etc), one pen for each workspace, one consumable at a time until complete.
The ‘spare’ concept makes sense because two is one and one is none. I can live without earphones or a watch for a few weeks while I repurchase a spare. Besides, there is a solemn satisfaction in the full utilisation of an item, wringing every bit of value out of a well-loved, well-worn item. I would rather wear out than rust, and when my possessions wear out, that is a sense of accomplishment. - This also means anything more than one set (and a spare) should go. I do not purchase hair products because over a binge I now have three tubs of hair goo (which I no longer use because I have a hairdryer, which I also do not use). This should empty my life out better.
“Depth” | “Go Deeper” | “Double Down” | “Building Roots instead of Growing Wings”
- I want to go deeper, to have depth of experience rather than breadth, to really specialise and become the subject matter expert. I’m very fast in comprehension/rapid prototyping, but I definitely lack depth.
I used to be a cross-country runner, used to brag about my patience and endurance and ability to focus for hours (well, 75 minutes) on nothing but the run. I still run and still run long-ish, but I’ve kept it to a shorter 5km, my patience is shot, and I’m constantly in a state of rushing and doing more things quicker, instead of focusing and going deep and doing few things well. Some traces of Jimmy Carr’s “do fewer things better” concept here. - I recently took a(nother) weightlifting class. I must’ve gone for four, five different lifting classes now, and watched Alan Thrall on repeat. I’d like to stop taking classes and start building a permanent practice and stick to a certain routine, building it into a familiar habit. Maybe the occasional form check or consultation to do better, but I’d like to keep a routine that’s good enough and avoids injury, and have the training pay off.
Most of my success or recognition, what paltry little there is, has come from work I’ve done many weeks or years or sessions ago. I’d like to start building payoffs for future me, too, and stop wasting progress by switching constantly. - I feel flighty; and having wings is good, but I would like to set down roots now. I want to have depth. I want to really know the intricacies and study the Rapport-Jobava London and Kan Sicilian. I want to master my niche hobbies. I’d like to truly boast familiarity and expertise in certain fields.
- Aligned to this is a commitment to (doing) fewer things (better). I met a girl and I’d like to increase my investment in her (to reap the rewards in the future). I’ll still diversify my investments but it’s time to double down, escalate, raise the stakes, and find the right moment to all-in — or at least, collect information to do so.
“Slow Fast” | Festina Lente, or, “Make Haste Slowly” |
A little unusual and contrary to my improv instincts, but I’d like to do things more slowly but more carefully. Purportedly some Roman emperors liked the idea; “That which has been done well has been done quickly enough.” Doing it well rather that quickly should become my principle and image, rather than the other way around.
This is another approach on doing fewer things better — focusing on the full completion of the task, and going deep, rather than going fast.
Reflections on Previous Themes:
2023: Discipline, Practice, Will
If I’m honest, I barely spent any time thinking about DPW, aside from declaring it as a theme and then remembering it near the end of the year.
I managed to achieve most of the Discipline part by being very focused on school and got better at the practice part by putting in some effort for shows — apparently putting any effort at all is unusual and gives greater returns. But, as a first go, this made things better.
2024: Life Points
I thought about this a lot throughout the year. I definitely made a conscious effort to choose decisions that generated more life points and brought more moments in life. In particular, I’m grateful that the theme led me to make a life decision that wasn’t quite satisfying, wasn’t quite generating the life points I wanted, and to pick up Improv again, which gave me life and certainly pleased me plenty.
I might spend these winter doldrums meditating on the final aspects of Life Points — not just how I live and how I enjoy things, but also how I will die one day, and what that means. We should live before we die, but not all for fun.
A Policy For Rainstorms
I’ve always liked the machine learning concept of Policies: “suggested actions that an agent should take, in pursuit of goals, for every possible environmental state”. Instead of making a decision every single time, it is simpler and cognitively cheaper to follow pre-existing policies:
- No coffee after 1pm (decaf OK until 2pm) — 2 cups a day.
- We do not mess with rain. If it looks like rain, we do not run. Wet grass/wet road is not funny, and running falls and injuries last longer than rainstorms.
- First bite should be vegetables/green.
- Eat your calories, rather than drink your calories.
- If it’s worth doing, doing a little is better than not doing.
- If you think about flossing, you should floss.
- Good enough is good enough; don’t super-optimise.
I spoke to my therapist about a recent situation where I was in the centre of an emotional storm, unable to do everything, locked down into survival mode just waiting for the storm to pass. I described how I hated that feeling, of being unable to see end of the storm, not knowing where to go.
He blurted something about not making plans in the middle of a storm — a detail he added, that I’m grateful for — because you can’t see anyway and you can’t trust the lay of the sea. He also highlighted how we should have different approaches for fair-weather days and for stormy days — it would be crazy, he remarked, to do laundry in the middle of a rainstorm, same as trying to fight the ocean in storm. When it’s storming, just go into lockdown and stay in survival mode — take rest, if need be — and just keep on keeping on, following the path planned in good weather.
(Three things all wise men fear, and one is the ocean in storm. It would be foolish to try to fight it, defy it, and insist one is better).
That’s sharp. No planning, no looking forward in the middle of a storm — just follow the last charted course, as best as possible. I suppose this yearly theme exercise is granting me a policy, helping me prepare and decide how to act and make decisions, but also giving me a compass to sail by for the upcoming storms.